Sometimes.

In fact making some small changes to the circumstances when we use these two little words, can make all the difference. And it takes practice.

Saying 'Yes' More...

...brings help when we are offered it. How often have you turned down support, because it felt easier to say 'No thanks. I'm fine'? How often have you rejected assistance in all sorts of places and circumstances? Sometimes it seems like the thing to do - a force of habit. But saying 'Yes', truly can be a help for you. But there is more. When you say 'Yes', you build relationships with who is offering.

You see, people love to help others and being in a situation where someone else feels thay have helped you out builds the bridge of relationship. It bonds in a most constructive way. Even more, when someone offers to help and it is accepted, they learn too.

When it's someone in your team, they love to help out (they offered!), especially the 'boss'. And what's more, when this happens, they learn to take some of the burden. Sure, it takes time and a little guidance, but it is a truly positive thing. Accepting help, by saying 'Yes' rather than 'No' is a magic tactic to take some of your load off, build a strong bond and develop others too.

Saying 'No' More...

...generates space for you. We 'tend' to say 'No' fairly rarely - especially if our natural tendency is to help out. We also 'tend' to say it when we want to be appreciated. It fufils a need to be needed - so we say 'Yes', in these circumstanmces way too often - and that means that we get overloaded. Saying 'No' more regularly makes others realise that we are not a soft touch. Training others in this way gets them thinking more about other solutuions and frees up your time too.

Find it hard to say 'No'?

Of course you do - in fact most of us do - so develop some coping strategies.

Like putting off a decision for 24 hours (many's the time others will find a different solution in the meantime); being honest and saying that you have someting else on; filling your diary with 'you' time, and sticking to it. A date with yourself becomes sacrosanct time in your diary and non-negotiable.

Try these two shifts in approach to 'Yes' and 'No' and you will find your life becomes more tolerable, it frees up your valuable time and your people will become much more capable and resourceful.

In fact your relationships with those around you, work and home, will improve immeasurably.

But you have to make the first step.

Martin Haworth

Thanks for taking a look at me! I work with people to help them realise their potential and make the most of their life. I also help managers to get the very best from their people, to make their businesses, teams, departments, whatever, to be successful.

Usually this is through my 'Coaching Managers to Coach' workshops, delivered worldwide, which includes experiential and hot-seat coaching for all participants - a great, fun learning experience. Click the big green link panel on any of the website pages!

There are over 1000 hints and tips, and that doesn't include the blog, which is updated pretty well daily, if not more often!

With a background in team management of groups from 6-300 and a great ICF coaching accreditation, I reckon I'm almost unique in my experience and training to make this work for you.

So take a look, checkout my other articles and maybe even set the blog page as a favourite:-) And, you know, if you want to get in touch, give me a call. I'll talk about almost anything, but I love helping people make the best of their workplace. Or e-mail me through the contact page on the site.

Ooops, I nearly forgot, I do manager soft-skills analysis with a programme called 'Intercept' and if you just want some one-to-one business coaching, I do that too. There's also a button on the navigation bar on the website pages for that too.

Fees, well, let me see, can I say that we can work something out? That's the way I work.

Thanks for happening by!

Martin