When we think of the kind of ongoing love relationship we would desire to live in, one of the things we think of is a sense of warmth.

At the same time, there are times in love relationships when it can get quite chilly. When anger, resentment and other negative feelings have built up, the relationship can feel as cold as ice.

Once it gets icey in a relationship, we can either deepen the ice or break the ice.

How to deepen the ice

=> Do your part to keep up the silent treatment. Believe it is healthy and useful.

=> Rehearse whatever wrongs have been committed over and over in your mind. Do not let them pass.

=> Bring others into the situation and try to convince them you are a victim and your partner is a villain.

=> Take verbal shots at each other.

How to break the ice

=> Take responsibility for your part in the mess you both have created.

=> Be first - to apologize, break the silence, break the ice. Being first makes you the bigger person. Take the lead.

=> Agree that more than a few seconds of the silent treatment is unacceptable.

=> Refuse to accept the silent treatment as an option in the relationship.

While storms in love relationships are inevitable, remember that ice is optional.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com