Those follicly challenged among us know all about discrimination. Having an excess of male hormones leads to premature baldness. Were just too macho for our own good. Of course, its better than suffering from other premature afflictions. Denial is the first symptom of going bald. Usually at around 12 years old. Nah, it wont happen to me, even though all photographic evidence - father, grandfathers and great grandfathers - all look at you from below polished domes and smile knowingly. It defies belief that your unruly mop of wavy hair will be anything less than thick and unmanageable for a lifetime. Mine would curl at a touch and be the envy of straight haired girls everywhere. Yes, really! It never bothered me when I finally admitted to myself that baldness was a reality, and nothing I did would change it. (That was yesterday, many years ago). Until then youre always convinced that its a trick of the light, your mates are messing with your mind or the flash of light you glimpse at the top of your head, while leaning over backwards and bending your head at right angles over the sink in front of the mirror, is in fact a blemish in the mirror and nothing to do with your head. Hairdressers dont help. They insist on flashing mirrors at you to show off their handiwork, and you never recover from the shock of seeing what the top of your head really look like. It does nothing for your carefully cultivated self image. From then on acceptance is a breeze for most, but sadly for others they wont accept it and throw themselves into a frenzy of attempted re growth. It starts with combing the five remaining strands strategically across the forehead and over the top of the head to make the whole area look busy. It doesnt fool anybody. The weirdest is the removal of bum hair, with strand by strand replanting on the head. Bald to furry. That's very strange. Theres a whole range of formula's and treatments designed to make you look or feel hairy and happy again. If it takes a hairy head to be happy, theres something not working. From school onwards we are distracted from feeling good about ourselves by people who feel inadequate about themselves. They are always keen to pass the feeling onto others. Who is normal? Were either too fat, thin, short or teased for being too tall. Finish first youre a smart ass, finish last youre slow. Boys are teased for being boys, girls are teased for being girls, and every feature, sound and deed are used as emotional weapons. Even snide comments about your banjo playing while attempting to busk, You cant play that banjo for nuts mate, youd make more money if you sold it! Very cruel, even if it is true. Its being happy with who we are that protects us from all this rubbish, and this sense of self belief must be instilled early in a child, and re enforced at every opportunity at school and at home. Fashions are fickle. It wasnt long ago that women wore wigs which today would have them institutionalised. They would strut around with metre high hairdos, liberally scattered with handfuls of flour and decorated with anything that came to hand. Model ships were popular, as were stuffed birds and replicas of favourite gardens. For months the hair would be liberally smeared with lard to hold it in place, causing infestations of mice, insects and cockroaches. This madness only stopped with the introduction of hair powder tax, but I would be guilty of discrimination myself by ridiculing such behaviour. Even so. Ooh thats a lovely wagtail youve got in that wig dear. Did you stuff it, or was it stuffed for you? Men have always been paranoid about baldness too. King Louis XV of France was particularly vexed at his lack of hairy topping. While visiting a school in 1674 he heard that one of the students, a nine year old Irish lad named Francis Seldon, had made up a pun about the kings bald head. I suppose something along the lines of Go home to your mother you bald headed monarch, you dont belong to me. He was placed in solitary confinement at the Bastille - for 69 years! Francis was still there being punished long after the King had died. The French have never had a sense of humour, but children DO and it needs to be nurtured. |
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