Are you currently in a relationship that you doubt? Are you uneasy about whether you are really in love? Do you wish you could feel more passionate and wildly happy with this person?

Did you ever wonder why over fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce? Maybe it's because most people are married to someone else's soul mate. That's what happens when you settle.

Deep inside, when you met this person, you knew this was not the one you really wanted. Did you decide to just hang out with them for a while, waiting for Mr. or Miss Right to appear? And, after a while, did you begin to think that no one better was going to come along, so you decided that you had better be satisfied with what you had rather than looking for someone else...because they might not exist?

It happens like that for a lot of people. The problem with compromised relationships is that when you put any two people together for very long, even if they are terribly unsuited for each other, they will bond. Add some physical intimacy, mutual friends, and eventually, some shared history, and you have a relationship with an uneasy base...because it was probably never meant to be.

Here is a check list of behavior that indicates settling. It can help guide you to a better choice; to your soul mate; to your deeper destiny.

Are you:

*Confused

You find that you have a need to talk to someone about the rightness of the relationship. You constantly question if you two should be together. You think things are okay one day and then you are not so sure the next. You have continual doubts and then you doubt your doubts.

*Looking over your shoulder

Part of you knows that you want someone better. You keep seeing other people that you think might be interesting and you wonder what they are like. If you met someone stunning and they wanted to go out with you, you would have a hard time deciding what to do. You would want to go but you would also feel guilty.

*Yearning

You miss the "falling in love" stage that you once felt for someone else, or that you have heard about for other people, or that you have seen in the movies. You wish you could feel that way for this person.

*Talking yourself into it

You find that you are often talking yourself into this relationship, saying things like, "No one has a perfect match," or, "This is a really nice person and I just can't walk out," or, "I'm just lucky to have found someone to love me, I am too picky, and I should be satisfied."

If any of these thoughts or behaviors are occurring in your life while you are with someone, perhaps you are settling for less than you want.

If you stay with someone for the wrong reasons, you will always find fault with them. They deserve better...and so do you.

Perhaps it is time to have the hard conversation, tell the truth, and make a decision from that place.

Let your motivation be this: your soul mate is waiting for you.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation