I don't really know how to start addressing this issue because first of all, how do you define a bad baby? Can a baby....an infant, be bad? Can they? What is the real meaning of bad in the first place? I often ask myself this question and can come up with no concrete conclusion. I have done an extensive research and find that I believe, now, that a baby can neither be angelic nor devilish. So, why is my baby constantly trying to show off his fine pair of lungs and make every single one of his caretaker fear him? When I conceived, I never imagined anyone would say anything bad about a baby, until my cousin came along. There are often no good things being said about Tina...and she's often being compared to her other cousin, Crystal. So, is Joshua, my son, going to join the likes of Sarah or Siobhan? It doesn't matter. First of all, it doesn't matter what you do. Your child will become what he is destined to become no matter what you do. You, as a parent, can only guide. So, try your best to do what you know is best for him. Close your ears and listen to your heart. When it comes to mothering, one can only conclude that the best person to decide what to do about a baby is the mother. Why the mother? The mother is a fantastic being, they have something men don't. Instinct. And it works for me. My husband, mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, father-in-law, mother, father, husband, sister and brother....(did I leave anyone out?) oh yeah, the dog...they are all afraid of offering to help care for Joshua now cause when he screams, he screams! He will make sure the sweet old lady living around the next block hears him too. It's a fine art and requires quite a lot of patience and also flexibility in controling the volume and pitch of your voice. Rattles, bells, pots and pans...anything which makes a lot of noise works wonders for me. Sometimes, he is too busy trying to make himself heard that he refuses to listen to all the hassle but continue until he hears the racket. Gently change your child. Suddenly deserting him will make him feel that you're no longer reliable. Gently and slowly change your style. Let him cry 5 minutes with you holding his hand and whispering sweet nothing in his ears. He will soon stop. Then the next time he does it again, increase the time gradually. Don't spank. I am all against spanking but I have to admit, after trying to cheer the little fella up for hours, it gets on my nerves too. Spanking has two bad points. One, he knows that if he does something bad, he'll suffer for a little while... probably a soft pat on the hand and then it's all over. If his tolerance for pain is high, you'll either be inclined to spank harder the next time or he'll think you're trying to torture him. He wouldn't understand. Two, it serves no purpose when he thinks you dislike him. Just be there for him, breathe deep and relax. Whisper softly to him and make him feel OK. That is the BEST way to calm a child down. Whatever you do, don't be violent with your baby. He's too young to understand why you're treating him this way. Be kind and gentle and soon, he'll learn that, "Hey, this woman is still here but why isn't she responding to my cries? Ah well, I guess I should try smiling now, maybe she'll respond better that way" Viola! Slowly but surely, your baby is a changed man...er baby. |
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