Just a few thoughts on what has been the topic of much discussion recently, Happiness...

We all desire and want to be happy. And we do many things to FEEL HAPPY

We buy many things: make up, clothes, food, cars, houses

We do many things: go on holidays, go out to restaurants, clubs, pubs, theatres

We maybe think we need to be in that relationship, or any relationship, to be happy

We maybe think we need to have that job to be happy

We maybe think we need to live in that house to be happy

We maybe think we need to have those friends to be happy

We maybe think we need to have that body to be happy

But, are You Happy?

We are very lucky that we live in this era where we can make so many choices, and we are always choosing, whether consciously or unconsciously. Even if we don't decide, we are choosing not to do it, so we are always making a choice. But:

Are You Making Conscious, Responsible Choices For Yourself?

And Are You Making the Right Choices to Make You Happy?

We are all different individuals, so for each one of us happiness is different; it has a different meaning and different things will make us happy.

So, are you choosing what is right for you to be happy, or are you following the trends of the society?

I have worked with clients who came to coaching as they arrived at some point in their lives, hit some pain and realized that what they had followed as happiness was simply an illusion. One said, 'I have followed the trends in society for my entire life and I have lost myself,' and another said, 'what I thought was bringing me happiness has instead created a hole within me, and I feel I have wasted my life'.

So, what, and how, are you choosing?

You need to know what makes you happy in order to be able to make yourself happy. If you copy what makes somebody else happy, does that mean you are going to be happy yourself? Well, maybe, but maybe not.

You need to know what makes just you happy, so that you can create your life in order to be happy.

And in order to find out what makes you happy, you need to know yourself, you need to know what your values and codes of conduct are, and you need to be true to yourself and to your values. If you are not true to your values or yourself you will create a growing disharmony within.

But having said that we are all different, there are also some things we all have in common. We have some common needs that must be fulfilled in order to be happy. We all, maybe in different measures, need:

Connection/Love

Fulfilment

Meaning/Purpose

Spirituality

How about you

Do you maybe need to feel connected to other people? Do you need to be loved, appreciated and accepted, so you look for friends? Do you maybe need to love and be loved, so you look for that special someone? Do you maybe desire that your special someone loves just you, that you are special for him/her? Do you maybe desire a fulfilling relationship? Do you maybe want to feel good and comfortable with yourself? Do you maybe look for lasting and deep fulfilment in your life? Do you maybe look for meaningful experiences? Do you maybe desire to be remembered? Do you maybe wish to know you are not here by chance, that you are here on this planet for a reason, that you are important and that your life is important? Do you maybe desire to be connected with Someone Higher to give you support, presence, encouragement and unconditional love?

Do You recognize some of these needs/desires for yourself?

And in order to experience these needs/desires, we need some values: Authenticity, Loyalty, Trust, Truthfulness, Respect, Honesty, and Integrity.

Because if we want to feel connection and love, we need to give and feel respect; we need to feel we can trust and are trusted, so we need to be honest; we need to feel loyalty, so we need to have integrity.

If we desire to feel fulfilment we crave for authentic and true relationships, with a deep meaning, where trust, loyalty, honesty, integrity, and respect are all values that are present.

And all these 'added' values also help us connect with who we truly are, our souls, and find a meaning to our lives.

Are you following? Great!

So, in order to be happy, you need first to know yourself, your values and code of conduct. In order to have your needs of Connection/Love, Fulfilment, Meaning/Purpose and Spirituality met you need to have among your values Authenticity, Loyalty, Trust, Truthfulness, Respect, Honesty, and Integrity. Then you need to create your life from your heart, from what makes you truly happy, being true to yourself and your values.

Now, I would like you to take a close look at your Life:

-How is your life? -Are you making yourself happy, truly? -Are you connected with who you truly are? -Do you know what your values are? -Do you have among them the ones that would enable you to fill your needs of connection/love, fulfilment, meaning/purpose and spirituality? -Are you true to yourself and your values? -Are you creating your life from your heart?

If not, start doing it NOW! You deserve to be truly happy and you will make your life so much richer and more fulfilled.

Copyright Piercarla Garusi 2006- All rights reserved.