If you watch Saturday Night Live, you know about "Debbie the Downer." She's the Queen of ego deflation, dream crushing, and all aroud "Down-ness." You may have a friend like that - never seems to let anyone around them be happy, or dream big. Heck - you may even BE a friend like that.

Of course, I'd like to say that I'm never like that - that I always see the positive, and that I never let the "yeah, BUT" get me down. But I can't. I do fall victim to my big "BUT" occasionally, and usually with very dissatisfying and negative-spiraling results.

Two months ago, if you had talked to me about the Laws of Attraction, I might have nodded, and thought, "uh-huh. Right..."

These days, my perspective has changed. For the better.

I guess it's a principle that has been evidenced my whole life. Common tenets: The more you do, the more there is to do; the more you learn, the more you realize how little you know; the more ideas you have, the more creativity leads you to have bigger, greater, and more creative ideas! The more energy you expend (especially with exercise), the more energy you have. And on and on. So good or bad, the law of attraction states that what you put forth to the world will come back at you in a big way - like a boomerang with a GPS device attached.

I'm a believer.

I absolutely love thinking big, dreaming about possibilities, and seeing potential greatness in the smallest things. And I'd love to say that I'm a big picture kind of girl - eye on the prize, and all that.... But, all too often, I get caught up in the "yeah, buts...." I admit it. I'm working on it. I get it.

I'll have a great idea, and thoroughly enjoy exploring it, researching it, and dreaming about it becoming reality. When I'm on that "edge of possibility" and thinking of all the great things that something could lead to, all is well with the world. And then my big "BUT" gets in the way, and deflates my dream, and jerks me right back to reality.

My favorite (formerly used) self-defeating big 'ole BUTS:

If it's such a great idea, why hasn't anyone else done it already?

If it has been done before, then someone else is already doing it better, faster, and more economically.

You better go study some more, 'ya big fraud.

It's too complicated, and it's not your area of expertise.

A billion people are in the process of doing the exact same thing right now, so by the time you've spent all your time and energy on it, someone else will have capitalized on your idea. And all that waste of time!

What if it sucks?

If it doesn't suck, you won't be able to handle all the success.

You have a billion (yes, I tend to overexaggerate) other half-baked, half-finished projects. You have no business starting anything else.

Your house is a mess. You should do some chores before you do the fun stuff.

What would it be like to live a life of possibility, opportunity, spontaneity, and potential? It would be awesome! There would be no "oh, woe is me" or "Now why'd 'ya go and do that?"

I want that life! I would love to live in a state of optimism, productivity, and ideas. To surround myself with people like me who are driven, motivated, and full of ideas and things they want to learn! To think, to explore, to research, and then to make things happen! To get back all that energy, positivism, and happiness! To feel successful at every single thing I tried! My heart is racing just thinking about it!

So as of right now I resolve to stop myself from letting my BIG 'OLE BUT get in the way, and will try desperately to let ideas and opportunities play themselves out before I let my BUT intervene and muck it up. I will keep my mouth shut when someone shares a great idea that I don't think can work. I will allow others around me to enjoy whatever stage of their project they are in, without offering "realistic and logical" suggestions - no matter how helpful they might be. I will stop trying to think about all the things that could go wrong, and just think about all the things that could go right.

And I could start right now. But I might not be able to. But I'm willing to try.

Jana Beutler-Holland

Life Coach and Author Jana Beutler Holland, M.Ed., is a former English Teacher, Therapist, and Juvenile Probation Officer.

After years of working in the fields of Education and Law Enforcement, Jana?s interest in helping delinquent youths led naturally into a graduate program in Counseling. She received a Masters in Educational Psychology with an emphasis in Counseling in 2001. She is a National Board Certified Counselor, and is 2005 President of the Adlerian Society of Arizona (an affiliate of the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology).

She is founder and Director of Life in Motion Coaching, a company providing life coaching, health, fitness, and wellness coaching. She and her husband own SWAT (Strength Wellness Athletic Training), a personal fitness training company in Tucson, Arizona.

Jana uses her expertise and experience in education and counseling by specializing in life and lifestyle coaching for clients needing guidance and accountability in reaching personal, professional, and/or or fitness and weight loss goals.

Jana is a member of U.S. Life Coach Association, Coachville, and Tucson Coaches Alliance. She has written and published several articles on the topics of Goal Identification, Body Image, Strategies for Change, and Overcoming Emotional Obstacles.