Am I dreaming? The sign outside the skyscraper reads: Spiritual Realm. I hurry straight to the elevator. Up, please, I tell the operator. She looks confused? Up? You want to go up? Certainly! I swallow my annoyance. To the top. The elevator starts ascending rapidly. I fidget. Isnt it getting stuffy in here? I remark. She shrugs. Yeah. A/C cuts off past the 30th floor. Ding! Penthouse. As the doors open, a rush of heat invades the elevator. I scream, Shut it, quick! Just before the doors close, I notice the sign: SATAN CORPORATION--and just below it: HERE YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE. We fall rapidly. In moments the A/C kicks back on. I dont understand. I thought God would be at the top, but its Satan. What gives? Didnt you check the directory in the lobby? the operator answers. Gods offices are in the basement. The basement? Yup. Offices here are assigned according to hubris. Hubris? Im not familiar with the term. It means wanton arrogance resulting from excessive pride. I see. So because God and His associates are low in hubris... ...theyre in the basement. I get it. If you want to go up--really up... You gotta to go down, but anyone unwilling to go down--well, then theres no place but up. Here we are: bottom floor. The opening doors admit a cool, fragrant breeze. The sign on the opposite wall reads, GOD & SON, UNLIMITED, and the line below: HERE YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED. I step out of the elevator, hoping I never wake up. |
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