If you've been walking this earth for any length of time, it must be pretty clear by now that if you want to make changes in your life, the first thing that needs to change is YOUR MIND! But here theres a problem - maybe a lot of problems - called LIMITING BELIEFS...ideas about yourself and the world that keep you from forging through change.

How often have you wrestled with some behavior or attitude that you know doesn't suit you? Why is it so hard to change it?

It starts for all of us in our heads -- with pessimistic thoughts -- and it moves to pessimistic or negative conclusions like, I cant do that...it wont work!

The real difficulty we all have with limiting beliefs is that we have so many of them...and weve had them for so long. They are, in part, the outcomes from the 20,000 or so NO or NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY criticisms we heard as young children.

These limiting beliefs -- "I cant," "they wont," "it wont work," "theres not enough," "IM NOT ENOUGH" -- keep us, in a way, safe from having to do anything (because, after all, whats the use!?) but they set us up to be victims of our own self-fulfilling prophecies! In effect, our limiting beliefs assure that we wont get what we want. At the end of this article is an exercise on Limiting Beliefs. Its called Changing...Your Mind."

Notice that at the top of the page is the quotation, Youll get exactly what you think, not what you deservebut youll deserve exactly what you think!

What does that mean? Simply, it means that if you think negatively youll get negative resultsand youll deserve them.

The only conclusion that makes sense, then, is: If you believe you deserve something better, youd better think something better! And that, folks, is the essence of how the change process begins.

The first part of the exercise is to look at your current belief system...at the ideas that could get in the way of productive, positive change. Write down a list of negative or limiting beliefs that you hold right now. They can be about yourself, your work, your family. An example would be: I cant get ahead on my job.

The opposite of a LIMITING BELIEF is -- and heres a word thats overused but in this context is absolutely appropriate -- an EMPOWERING BELIEF. Its really all about POWER -- personal power -- and at the bottom of it all is who we believe we ARE.

What will get us through major changes with the least discomfort and in the shortest time is a positive approach to the future.

Now, this is an unnatural state for some of us -- perhaps even for most of us -- because of how our society has set things up. Look, for instance at the educational system. How do we measure progress? We get GRADES and GET PROMOTED. We PASS or FAIL (ouch!)

And how about the media. What do we usually see on news broadcasts? BAD NEWS! Negative stuff.

And how do we feel about taxes, politics, traffic, crime and virtually every other facet of life today? We dont feel good. And nobody wants to be a Pollyanna, now, do they? It wouldnt fit with the society. So we go along with the crowd, and eventually we believe what they're saying and thinking...and its pretty negative.

Once were in this boat, its difficult to get out of it. But for our purposes, getting out and getting on are the major objectives. So lets go back to what you wrote down as YOUR limiting beliefs. Now its time for you to construct some contrary statements that can move you toward more personal power. Beneath each limiting belief you wrote down, write what you think would be an Empowering Belief...a Positive Statement that offsets the Limiting Belief you already hold All right, got it? Now you have a set of empowering statements. Theyre not beliefs YET, just statements that you can begin to work on as agents for change in your life.

Remember, part of the value of this exercise is what you do with it afte ryou've completed it. Be prepared to come back to it on your own and flesh it out as things come up for you.

What youre doing here is starting to change your mind. But this takes practice. Here's one way to do this.

On little 3 by 5 cards or "Post-It" notes, print in big letters your empowering beliefs -- one per card -- and post them somewhereon your mirror, on the refrigerator, on a bulletin board, or on your computer (as I do).

You need to have them in your face time after time, day after day. And each time you invent a new one, make it the belief of the week and post it everywhere. Youll feel awkward with this at first, but hang in. It gets better. Looking at these reminders, day after day after day, will help you to reduce the struggle to change. You'll wrestle less with the challenges, and you'll see and feel the changes as they occur. Once you're confident that a belief has changed -- that you're actually doing things differently -- move that belief card to the top of your mirror. And each time you do this, give yourself a little reward. You've earned it. As this new behavioral/attitudinal pattern begins to take shape, you'll be surprised at how fast the belief cards will accumulate. Almost before you know it, the wrestling match will be overand you'll be the winner.

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Paul McNeese

Paul McNeese, BS, CFP (Ret.), is a training professional with more than 25 years of experience in educating, motivating and inspiring individuals and groups. He has entered coaching by the ?back door,? having founded an online publishing company in 2001, where he discovered that many authors, both newcomers and experienced professionals, require coaching to bring out the very best writing they are capable of producing. But now that he?s in it, he?s in it! Paul is a member of the Phoenix, Arizona chapter of the International Coach Federation. He is also studying in Coachville?s certification program and is currently working as a coach to nine authors, a ghostwriter, and several promotional marketing writers. An honors graduate of Northeastern University in Boston, Paul holds a bachelor of science degree in marketing and has done graduate work in psychology, economics and public policy at UCLA. He held the Certified Financial Planner (CFP) designation between 1981 and 1994, when he retired (the first time around). He also holds a certificate in counseling from Cypress College in Los Angeles. Today, Paul McNeese combines his organizational expertise, marketing ?savvy,? communications fluency and interpersonal skills with an upbeat, entertaining public speaking style as he presents personal growth strategies in an interactive one-day workshop called ?Betterchange.? He developed the first ?Betterchange? workshop in 1994 as a vehicle for training the staff and management of not-for profit organizations, and he continues to refine it almost daily to better equip attendees to meet the future successfully. A second edition of his book, ?Salespower through Successful Seminars,? is scheduled for publication in early 2006 as an online publication in his OPA Publishing catalog, and he has begun work on another book, ?Betterchange: 12 Keys to Personal and Professional Growth,? which will see publication in mid-2006. He has also recently completed an audiotape/CD set based on his ?Betterchange? seminar/workshop.