Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you-Matthew 7:7

Do you sometimes get frustrated because you feel as if you don't get the answers you desire? Well, maybe it's the questions you're asking. Asking the right questions has the power to elicit positive changes in your life. It's not just in your tone, but your words also. If you want to influence someone, you must demonstrate to them that you are a confident communicator.

Which of the following questions is most likely to get a "yes" from you?

"You wouldn't want help me, would you?" or "I need your help with something. What days will work for you?" The first question gives the other person the opportunity to dismiss you. The second question offers an option and requests a solution. If you ask a negative based question, you will get a negative response. If you a positive based question, more than likely you will get the response that you are looking for.

Make sure you are asking for what you want instead of what you don't want. Often our words and actions betray our thoughts and intentions. You have to be open to receiving in order to get what you want. The one way to alter the results you get in your life is to alter the way communicate what you want. Ask people questions that will invite more information from them or pique their interest to seek more information from you. This applies to your life too! By asking yourself the right questions, you will change your focus and build your self awareness. If you're asking yourself: "Why am I such a loser?" or "Why do bad things keep happening to me?" you are inviting more failure. You have to make the shift in your thinking. This often requires that you examine what you want to accomplish in life and then focusing on how to achieve it. Ask yourself: "What can I accomplish today that will have a positive impact on my life?" or "What's possible in my life right now?

Before you ask a question of yourself or others think about the outcome you would like to receive as a result of the question. Ask solution based questions and you will get the results you want. Always be enthusiastic and excited about the response you will be getting. It takes time and practice to develop your ability to ask positive questions. As you develop this ability, you will be empowered to make better choices in your life.

Marie Roker

Marie Magdala Roker is a Personal Development Coach with Smart Bee Coaching LLC. She is also the author of Successful Thinking for a Successful Life and a Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor.

Marie has coached women through A Hands up Coaching, a volunteer coaching program for lower income women who want to gain their confidence and make improvements in their lives. Marie is also Director of Public Education for Developing Hearts Systems, a non profit organization educational publisher of Bonding with Baby developmental books.

Marie has a BA from Fordham University and is completing her MA at Columbia University?s Teachers College. Marie also received her coach training from Coachville and is a founding member of International Association of Coaches.